Let’s talk about interacting with people who push your buttons. You know who we’re talking about — the co-worker who always has something negative to say, a colleague who has a habit of lashing out, and similar people who bring your mood and energy levels down.
In an episode of Wharton organizational psychologist Adam Grant’s WorkLife podcast, Sheila Heen, a conflict mediation expert who teaches negotiation at Harvard Law School, advised us to approach angry or rude people from a place of curiosity, rather than lashing back in the moment. When you do that, “the conversation isn’t about, you know, letting her have it, and straightening her out and letting her know she shouldn’t be an asshole next time,” she said. “The conversation is about, ‘Now I’m just curious what was going on with you. Because I was surprised by it, and we should address it so that we just won’t have this problem next time.’ That’s an orientation that is much more likely to produce a better conversation and to solve the problem — if it’s solvable.”
For more specific strategies that have worked, we asked members of the Thrive Global community to share their best tips for dealing with difficult people. Here’s their advice.
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