If i based my new year’s resolutions on today’s spam…

  1. Look good and feel great
  2. Learn the secrets of porn stars
  3. Effectively enlarge my cup size
  4. Claim my cut of that Nigerian cash
  5. Purchase that banned CD
  6. Triple my investment in only one week
  7. Get paid to work from home
  8. Get the perfect loan without perfect credit
  9. Tell them it’s not a mistake, I do have platinum status
  10. Get the car I want with easy finance
  11. Earn that degree
  12. Watch the Paris Hilton video for free
  13. Learn to play pool like a pro
  14. Verify that my Citibank, PayPal, nor eBay accounts have been tampered with
  15. Take advantage of the coolest mobile phone with a great rate plan
  16. Improve my figure
  17. Improve my credit score
  18. Grow ten years younger in 30 days
  19. Get my Cupid cursors for Valentine’s day
  20. Copy all my DVDs to CDs
  21. Learn a new career
  22. Collection my auction winnings
  23. Cut my top placement costs
  24. Order my 85 free business cards
  25. Learn about my miliraty benefits
  26. Survive my home improvement project
  27. Buy the perfect memorable and loving gift
  28. Descramble my digital cable
  29. Get a Rolex for only $65
  30. Last all night

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