Random observations and thoughts

Lisa needs a link!
What is fat-free half-and-half? Just "half"?
If the sign reads 'Authorized and Emergency Vehicles Only' does that imply that emergency vehicles are not authorized?
At the airport recently I was told to have ready my 'driver's license, passport, or government issued id out and ready to show the agent.' Uh, aren't driver's licenses and passports issued by governments?
The math in Cube works!
Why is it that smokers believe it is o.k. to throw their cigarette butts out the car window? Don't they have an ashtray in their car?
Apparently!? (See note at bottom of the linked page...)
Today I saw two guys park a POS (piece of sh*t) car across two parking spaces.
The splash screen for Windows 2000 says 'Built on NT Technology.' Did Bill forget that 'NT' stands for 'New Technology?'
Speaking of Windows; why is the shutdown command on the Start menu?
Why do most people driving huge SUVs not know how to park them?
Outside the Starbucks I hang out at I'm constantly watching people set their car alarms. The door to Starbucks is less than six feet from the parking space and the only thing separating them form their car while inside is windows. Who's going to steal their car?
At what point did the lines painted in parking lots become optional?
Ditto for stop signs.
Why do drivers insist on turning into angled parking spaces from the wrong direction? More scary, back out while turning the wrong way.
Why do most people with radar detectors not understand that they have the right to own one because they have the right to know when 'the man' is watching them; not because they have the right to speed.
Are people that ride motorcycles without helmets 'free souls' or just idiots?
More times than not child misbehavior is the fault of the parents, not the child. If the child is old enough to know better and they don't that's the parent's fault.
When did your lack of planning become my problem?
A siren from an emergency vehicle means pull over and stop. Slowing down does not count. It does not matter that you are on the opposite side of the road from the ambulance, nor even if you are on a different street if you can see it.
I felt old when a coworker asked, "Who's Dan Fogelberg?"
If you drive anything that gets less than 30mpg you have no right to complain about gas prices.
If your car alarm goes off and you can't turn it off within 30 seconds, your privilege to have one should be revoked.
An ex-friend of mine once told me 'All you need in life is sincerity. Once you can fake that everything is easy.' Gee, I wonder what he's an ex-friend.
If my next thought is true but the previous one is false, which is it?
The definition of technology is 'anything invented after you were born.'
'If you choose not to decide you still have made a choice.' But what if you don't decide without choosing to do so? (Apologies to Rush.)
When traveling abroad be sure to dress and act like a Canadian since they are completely worthless as hostages. (Thanks to Christopher Moore.)
BTW: I hate usless splash pages (redundant) on Web sites.
Azteks are ugly. Sorry, they just are.
The PT Cruiser was specifically designed for a particular demographic. If you like them, tag, you're it.
Netscape 4.x is not over five years old. Why are we designing for it?
Driving while talking on a cell phone is dangerous. Talking on a cell phone while smoking a cigarette and driving a stick is just stupid.